Kahiau
I am a storyteller. But I didn’t tell this one. Not sure why… I guess it’s complicated. I believe people should tell their authentic stories of love, grief, struggle, joy, pain… and everything in between. By sharing we create CONNECTION. As humans - to be in touch with our humanity - we must share, connect, FEEL... communicate. I absolutely respect those that choose to keep their private life, private - but also know that even those who do not share on a public platform have that human need to share and connect with others in their private spheres. It’s how we heal.
Recently, important women in my life have shared their stories of pregnancy loss, and inspired me to share a piece of art that I call “Kahiau.”
Perhaps I will share the actual story sometime… it was early in our pregnancy… but for now, here's an animation that came to me during a moment of quiet meditation. I shared the idea with my professor Brian Kohne (I was auditing a class at UH-Maui last semester). He encouraged me to pursue it as my final project and connected me with a brilliant, talented, Maui girl and beginning animator, Zoe Tomas. We collaborated on this piece of storytelling art and I’m so thankful for the way she brought it to life… kahi.au - To give generously / lavishly with the heart with no expectation of return. Also, the name we gave to our child who never got to live earth side, but will always live in our hearts.
According to the Star Legacy Foundation website, in 1988 President Reagan declared October as a month to recognize the unique grief of bereaved parents. Promoting awareness of pregnancy and infant loss increases the likelihood that families will receive understanding and support. According to the March of Dimes website, for women who know they’re pregnant, 10 - 15% end in miscarriage (pregnancy loss ≤ 20 weeks). Most miscarriages happen in the 1st trimester with 1-5% of miscarriages happening in the second. As many as half of all pregnancies may end in miscarriage. We don’t know the exact number because a miscarriage may happen before a woman knows she’s pregnant. Most women who miscarry have a healthy pregnancy later.
My pregnancy loss ripped me apart.
But, it also marked a new beginning. In a strange turn of events, it was the catalyst for my re-enrollment into graduate school. The last two years, I’ve been studying the science of human communication. This year (2021), my “thesis baby” was born - a project called “The Communification Podcast.” My thesis project focuses on helping everyday people to unlock their communication potential with research-based strategies offered by communication scholars, while also humanizing our experiences with guests who share how they navigate through the highs and lows of their communication issues. Below, I share with you my virtual commencement speech. It was an honor to represent the UH-Mānoa Class of 2021 as student speaker.